We'll Miss You, Mr. Williams

I didn't actually read the news yesterday until about ten at night, and so I didn't realize Robin Williams died until then. Worse, he killed himself. The news has said he was battling major depression and had relapsed into an alcohol problem.

Sometimes it seems like we Americans overuse the word "tragedy." In Shakespearean terms, a tragic hero is one who brings about his own downfall (like Hamlet). In the case of Robin Williams' death, though, I think that the word tragedy is appropriate. He was, by all accounts, a wonderful man. His movies brightened many people's moods just for the watching, and his smile was comforting and loving to see.

In this picture, I can see the smile looking dimmer, almost more of a grimace than a happy expression. It makes me wish, even more than reading the shocking news, that I could have met him, just for a few seconds; just long enough to give him a hug and tell him that he is not alone. Even though depression is the loneliest feeling in the world (aside from perhaps being deserted on a desert island), even though it's the hardest thing to realize when you're in that pit, none of us are alone there.

According to statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), roughly 16 million adults in the USA had suffered a major depressive episode in the past 12 months. That's 6.9% of the population, and from a less clinical perspective, that's a lot of people. Anyone suffering from depression in the US alone has about 16 million other people who are going through something similar. Check out the NIMH page here: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/1MDD_ADULT.shtml

Since I can't say this to Robin Williams, I can say it to people who look at this blog: you're not alone. Everyone experiences pain, and millions of us have suffered through major depressive episodes. If you can't find support among family and friends, there are dozens of support groups out there-- the Depression-Bipolar Support Alliance or DBSA (which has become a major pillar of support in my own life) has both in-person and online groups, which their website can direct you to; the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill or NAMI; and countless other support groups.

If you are depressed, the hardest thing to do can be to seek help. I've been there, too. You feel like a burden, feel like it's never going to get better, feel like there's no point in even trying. It's not some cute cartoon cloud following you around like the antidepressant commercials. You've been tied up and chucked down the stairs into a serial killer's dark, dank basement with no lights and no sound, and you have no idea if you'll ever get out alive.

What those NIMH statistics, and what support groups have taught me, is that there are other people in that basement, too. It might not be easy to find them, might not be easy to reach out to them for help. But it's worth it, because if you work together, maybe you can find a crack in the wall and dig your way out. Sure, it'll hurt, but it's a hell of a lot better than dying down there.

So please, to anyone reading this, please don't give up hope. If you're depressed, don't try to go it alone. Don't hate yourself for feeling that way (even though that's really tough). If I can reach out, anyone can.

And if you are considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or call the person you trust most in the world, or call your therapist. Your life means a lot to someone in this world.