Grumpy Cat

So, I have this blog and I have yet to post a picture in it. Today, this one seems appropriate for my mood:

I got the Grumpy Cat picture here: http://buymelaughs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Funny-Cats-Top-49-Most-Funniest-Grumpy-Cat-Quotes-4.jpg and obviously I cannot take credit for this meme, or any other.

Today began with agitation, when my mother called me just to make sure I was awake. Yes, I had overslept beyond what I meant to, but I didn't actually have anything pressing to do in the morning, and I do not enjoy waking up to phone calls. I wake up in sort of a panic, trying to squint at the blurry cell phone shrieking for attention, lurch out of bed and start pacing around my room. All in all, it's incredibly unpleasant, and yes, I realize that it's just my own reaction, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable.

Unfortunately a bad wake-up tends to set the stage for a not-so-great day, and in my case, this meant a day of excessive anxiety and irritability. These are two very common symptoms of mania, which I am trying to deal with as best I can, but unfortunately there are not a plethora of solutions. For the most part, the best you can do is up your dose of medication (done), stick to your routine (doing), and if need be, hand over your car keys (done) and your bank cards (ahem... no).

I am certainly not at the point of needing hospitalization, but the jittery, irritable, anxiety-prone feelings plaguing me today in particular have me wishing I could do something more productive than riding it out. Of course, anyone who has ever dealt with any form of mental (or physical) illness knows that there's really no miracle cure. There is no instant gratification that will make your problems go away, and things that masquerade as such (drugs, promiscuity, alcohol, spending sprees) actually tend to cause more problems than the temporary relief they provide is worth.

So today, I just have to live with a bad day. Everyone has them, whether or not they have a mental illness. All I can really do is hope that tomorrow is better. Luckily I have an appointment with my therapist bright and early. I still have to get through today, though.